Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Cockroach Hunter

During the tsunami warning, a friend told us that we were being initiated, and now that we'd been through a tsunami, we were true Hawaiians.  But I'm thinking nights like last night are really the heart of Hawaiian life, since we have them much more often!

I've learned that squashing a cockroach is a bad idea, because their... um... manner of squashing makes me want to hurl.  So here's our new method...

Saturday, April 9, 2011

My letter to the Honolulu Court

Let's see if the judge that reads my letter is merciful...

Brett Fairbourn
Honolulu, HI 96815

Driver’s license: [Number]
Citation number: [Number]

District Court of the First Circuit,

I was cited for talking on my cell phone while driving on Ala Wai Boulevard.  The officer informed me that I could write a letter explaining “mitigating circumstances,” but I’m afraid I do not have a good excuse.  I was on my way to school, and my parents needed some information for their upcoming visit to Hawaii.  I was talking to my mom, and it could have waited.

I am writing, therefore, to apologize and request a second chance.  The cell phone law is a good one, and keeping both hands free while driving should be common sense.  Unfortunately, it required a citation for me to realize that I was acting against my better judgment, not to mention the law.  I am sorry for my actions, especially when I think of all the cars and pedestrians that crowd Honolulu.  All of my attention is required in any driving environment, and I made a bad decision.

Additionally, I sincerely cannot afford this $97 citation.  You probably hear a lot of sob stories; I considered attaching our March or April budget to illustrate this point.  My wife and I are students, we both work, we budget very carefully, and we are barely, barely making it.  I felt sick to my stomach after getting pulled over.  We need this money badly.

My final plea is an appeal to my good citizenship as a driver.  Our car is registered correctly, our safety inspection is up-to-date, and we have auto insurance, all of which cost money, as you know.  I am a careful driver, and my driving record reflects this.

I am sorry, and I do not have a good excuse.  I made a poor and potentially dangerous decision.  I agree with this law, and I will follow it perfectly from now on.  I cannot afford not to, both in terms of safe driving and the potential for an expensive citation.  Please accept my apology and allow me a second chance.


Brett Fairbourn